Thursday, June 4, 2009

Weight of the world...

Yesterday Ari and I had the most interesting conversation. It went something like this.

Ari: Mom, can I play out front?
Me: I would prefer you play in the back yard while I make food and then after we eat I will come out front with you.
Ari: Why are you the boss?
Me: Because I am the mom. Because some rules are about safety and because it is not okay for me to be inside trying to make food and at the same time worry about you and your sister's safety.

Sometimes I use these conversations to explain or even apologize about past decisions, especially if we have had to change something that was not working for our family. So I went on.

You know Ari, your dad and I made a bad decision. We were giving you too much freedom and too much responsibility. You are young and although you are smart and you are wise, we have been around longer. We now feel that there is such a thing as age appropriate freedom. And, we try really hard to work out an agreeable solution. However, sometimes the answer is just no and sometimes the final decision may not be something all parties are completely excited about. But we do our best.

I also explained to her that we felt that too much freedom and too much responsibility had given her a lot of stress. That sometimes it is good to know that some one has your back and is looking out for you.

You could practically feel the tension of the world being lifted off her back. It was a really interesting thing to have happen. She then started in to a different topic happy as any six year old could be.

So, once again, I am happy we are doing it OUR way and that really we do not care if we are doing it all wrong anymore. No book can raise your kids for you and no person up on their soapbox is living your life for you. You and your family have to live with the daily and life long consequences of your choices, so you best make them for yourself.

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